Walking Away
by IlovemyDeanBean
Summary: Carter leaves


Title: Walking Away  
category: JC/JMC  
summary: Carter leaves.  
  
song: Walking Away - Craig David  
  
  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
***********************  
  
  
  
His defense, he decided, was ignorance.  
  
  
He knew all about having his heart broken. He'd heard stories  
about falling out of love, but it was something he couldn't  
even really fathom.  
  
That was until Carter fell out of love.  
  
  
**************************  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
I'm walking away  
***************************  
  
She was still beautiful.  
  
He stood at the foot of the bed, watching her sleep. Sleep was  
the only time she ever looked at peace.  
  
He had tried so hard, he told himself over and over as he  
threw a couple of folded shirts into the leather bag he had  
chosen.  
  
He didn't mean to hurt her. Hell, he didn't want to break her  
more than she was already broken.  
  
That's why he couldn't say goodbye.  
  
**************************  
sometimes some people get me wrong  
when it's something I've said or done  
**************************  
  
  
He'd given up a year. Focused everything in his world on her,  
because he'd finally won. He had wanted her so badly, he'd been  
blinded to the possibility of someone else loving him.  
  
  
Everything glittered,until it turned tarnished. He realized she  
didn't smile. She rarely laughed. And that was more painful  
than realizing he had been blinded.  
  
  
Blind and ignorant.  
  
  
Carter lay the final pair of pants on the top of the bag,  
and zipped it shut. He didn't touch anything else. He had given  
up on her, and those things. They weren't his anymore.  
  
  
******************************  
sometimes you feel there is no fun  
that's why you turn and run  
but now I truly realise   
*******************************  
  
  
He left the bedroom door open a crack, trying so hard  
not to make any other noises.  
  
He knew that if she had woken up, it might be the one time  
she let him watch her cry.  
  
He held the keys so hard in his hand, the metal  
dug into the pale skin.  
  
Any harder and he would have drawn blood.  
  
  
********************************  
some people don't wanna cpomromise  
well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies  
and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights  
not mentioning the fights i'm sorry to say lady  
********************************  
  
  
"John?" her voice was scratchy from sleep."Hey"  
  
It was out of panic he called her. Panic because he knew  
that leaving would mean he was alone. He never knew how  
to be alone. There was always someone to listen to him,  
someone to comfort him.  
  
"Did I wake you?"  
  
She cleared her throat. By the rustling coming from  
the other side of the phone,he could picture her wrestling  
with her sheets, yawning, and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
  
"No..no, I was awake. I'm on call, in like 15 minutes"  
  
She never lied to him. Except when she was afarid of him.  
"Is everything alright John?"  
  
"I'm leaving" Carter spat out,"Tomorrow"  
  
There was silence on her side of the phone. He could have sworn  
then he could hear his heart racing in his ears.It wasn't supposed  
to feel this scary.  
  
"You want me to come with you?"  
  
He never had to really say what he wanted. She just seemed to  
know.  
  
"Come get me after work"  
  
  
****************************  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
I'm walking away  
*****************************  
  
  
  
He avoided her at dinner. He listened to her chattering, smiled  
at her cues. There was no way he could pretend everything was   
alright. It was all he could do to not cause a scene.  
  
He had fallen out of love. It was all one sided now. She initated  
every touch, every kiss.  
  
Carter rested his head in his hands and watched her.  
  
  
  
****************************  
Well I'm so tired baby  
things you say you're driving me away  
whispers in the powder room baby   
don't listen to the games they play  
*****************************  
  
  
He left the television on while she got ready for bed.  
  
He listened as she left the bathroom door open, and   
had the shower running. There was just no more stirring  
deep inside. Nothing drawing him to follow her.  
  
Dark would be his salvation.  
  
Carter focused on the many silent mouths in front of him.  
  
  
  
*****************************  
girl I thought you'd realise   
I'm not like them other guys  
coz I saw them with my own eyes  
you should've been more wise  
******************************  
  
  
  
It had to be one time the wind didn't send chills down his  
spine, he figured, racing down the near empty streets.  
  
He liked taking deep breaths, letting the heavy wind  
take his breath.  
  
He didn't need to breath on his own, he decided, as he kept  
driving. Maybe that would make this easier.  
  
The lights of the hospital loomed ahead. More than ever..  
  
He didn't want to breath on his own anymore.  
  
  
*******************************  
and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights  
not mentioning the fights I'm sorry to say lady  
*******************************  
  
  
She had a perputual sad look in her eyes. "Hi"  
  
He forced a smile. A smile that showed just how uneasy he   
was about this. He could see by her eyes, she felt the same   
way.  
  
Jing Mei threw her things in the back of the car, then   
slid into the passangers seat.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
She nodded,reaching over to hold his hand.  
  
Carter gave her hand a squeeze, waiting for the dark  
to swallow them as he drove towards the highway.  
  
"This is it"  
  
"This is it" he replied.  
  
**********************************  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life  
I'm walking away oh to find a better day  
I'm walking away 


End file.
